Let's face it: dating in the LDS community is a little different than the world of dating outside of it. For one thing, LDS singles date with the purpose of finding an eternal partner - marriage is not just for the here and now. It is for all time and eternity. Also, marriage is extremely important within the LDS faith: it is ordained by God, and it is necessary to obtain the highest heavenly state after mortality.
Nonetheless, no one should rush through dating, just to get married. And even when dating, one must be careful and sure to follow certain "rules." Here are some accepted rules of dating for LDS singles:
- 16 - This is generally an acceptable age to start dating. Thirteen, a common age within other communities to start dating, is a little too young.
- Keep it fun while you are young - At first, dating should be just for fun. It is a good time to start to get an idea of what you are looking for in a partner. Don't get too serious right off the bat - more likely than not, your soul mate will not be the first, or even the second or eighth person you date.
- Serious dating - For boys, the time to start dating more seriously is after a mission. For girls, more serious dating can start after high school.
- Date people with the same high standards. Don't expect to be able to change anyone.
- The more people you meet and date, the better you can decide what you are truly looking for in an eternal companion.
- Take your dates to wholesome places - the zoo, fun restaurants, amusement parks, picnics, hikes, etc. Be creative: you won't learn too much about a person if you simply take him or her to the movies.
- If you do go to the movies, avoid R-rated ones.
- Don't date on school nights (this is a good idea, even when in college).
- When still in high school, be sure to tell your parents whom you are going out with, where you are going, and when you will be getting back.
- Go on group dates. Group dates can be a lot of fun, and they offer an unthreatening way to meet new people. Also, in a group date, everyone is everyone else's chaperone.
- Remain chaste.
- Avoid risky situations: avoid being alone with your date late at night.
- No heavy petting ("petting" is anything that increases sexual excitement). As a general rule, no touching above the knees or below the shoulders. Hugs, holding hands, and arms around the waist are ok. Use your own discretion.
- No passionate kissing. A short kiss, without the use of tongues, is all that is necessary.
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Remember, the ultimate end and purpose of dating is marriage. While dating keep in mind qualities that you want in an eternal partner. After all, in the Church of Latter Day Saints, you are married for time and all eternity. This is a very important commitment: there is no reason to be hasty in your decision.
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